Three Miracles...A True Story
My mother hoped and prayed that once she could no longer drive, she would just go to sleep some night and never wake up. She didn't want to move to a retirement home, didn't want to live with any of her children, didn't want to live, period. As it was, the day she wisely hung up her keys to the car because, in her words, "I came out of the store, got in my car and realized I couldn't remember whether to turn right or left to get home," she called me and said, "Well, that's it. I'm washed up."
Her name had been on a waiting listing for a very nice retirement facility. We chose it because her best friend was there. Soon after she moved in, however, mother's friend died and soon after that, the administrator called me to say, "You know, your mom is becoming more reclusive. She won't go to the dining room unless one of the staff escorts her."
I knew my mother's memory was failing her. A proud, very intelligent woman, she was embarrassed and chagrined that simple tasks eluded her. Plus, the facility was so large, it was easy for her to get lost. Whenever we talked, she'd ask, "Isn't there a place more like a real home that's closer to you?"
The first miracle is that I heard about the Shelby House and Shelby Cleveland. Shelby had been a Home-Health-Care nurse and had decided to open an assisted-living facility for the same reason as my mother's...because a client for whom she cared very much faced going into a nursing home. Shelby knew the woman would fare much better in a setting more like a real home.
My mother lived another five plus years. Without the Shelby House, I feel very sure my mother's dementia would have placed her in the Alzheimer's ward of a nursing home. For sure, she had her difficult moments but those pale in comparison to the richness of each and every day within the intimacy of the Shelby House. The low turnover rate of staff, the day-to-day interplay between the residents, the activities, the meals, being tucked into bed at night and listened to, well, these elements are all part of the second miracle.
The third miracle relates to my mother's passing. I was able to be with her round the clock the last three days. I literally moved in, ate with the residents, slept in her room and the last half hour, crawled onto her bed to curl up behind her. It was such an amazing experience to midwife her through the transition. Do you know...she laced her fingers through mine and pulled our conjoined hands over her heart. I felt her last breath, her last heart beat.
Sometimes when I'd go to visit her, she'd refer to me as a "nice lady" and then she'd ask me, "How did I end up in such a place as this? Everyone is so nice."
What more can I say...except this is the reason I created the Shelby House web site and why I maintain it. There needs to be a place for more miracles at the end of our days. If you're in need of a miracle, I trust you'll somehow find your way through cyberspace to this very page.
Sarah Louise Hannah